Along with letting your boy seek his own heroes and role models, there are things you can do to allow him to be male. Whether or not you have a man around to show him the ropes, your son can grow up to be emotionally healthy just as many boys of single moms have already done.
The following tips have been compiled from my own experience:
1. Accept your son's differences.
2. Don't make your boy be the man around the house. True, you want to teach him to grow to be a man, but there's a distinction between being the "little man" and being responsible for things that adults are supposed to do. Your child is not your confidant, your knight in shining armor or your rescuer. Especially important for the newly widowed or divorced, correct people if they suggest that now your son "is the man around the house," or that he should "take care of Mommy."
3. When you look at your child and see his father's face, it's okay to get a little emotional. After all, if your ex gave you anything of value, you're looking at it. Let your son know how important he is to you.
4. Point out the positive qualities in men you see on a day-to-day basis. If you're buying your son baseball shoes, and the salesman is attentive or friendly, point this trait out by mentioning what a helpful person he is.
5. Be creative in helping your child learn guy stuff. For instance, many single mothers report concern over their son's sitting on the toilet to urinate, or playing with Mom's makeup. To get a head start on defining the differences between secondary sex characteristics between males and females, try this: Set out a tray just for your boy. Fill it with a mock razor, gentle shaving cream, watered-down cologne, his toothbrush, toothpaste and a comb. Let him know this is what most guys do every morning to their faces.
