I had a male friend . He was my so called "best friend". I often stared at his calmly face and wish he was mine. But he never noticed me like the way I wished he did, and I realized that. I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I liked him so much but I was too shy, and I did not know why.
My phone rang, it was him. He was in grieve, mumbling on and on about how his love had broke his heart. He asked me whether he could come over because he didn't want to be alone, so I allowed him. As I sat next to him on the sofa, I stared at his calmly face, wishing again he was mine. After 2 hours gone by, mostly spending with long talking, he decided to go home. He looked deeply in my eyes, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I liked him so much but I was too shy, and I did not know why.
Sometime in one year, he called me again telling me that his date was sick that she might not able to accompany him attending his friend's wedding party. Further more, he asked me to replace her. As I remember, I also had dating plan that night. But of course, his wish and demand always came first, above of all, for me.
Taking me home from party, in my house porch, he stared at me with his soft eyes followed with his gently smile.
I wanted him to be mine, but he was not ever thinking of me like that, and I knew it. Then he said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I liked him so much but I was too shy, and I did not know why.
Now I sit in the pews of the church. My best friend was getting married now. I watched him saying "I do" and kissing his bride, married to another woman. I wished I were his bride, I wished his kissing were mine. But he never saw me like that, and I always knew it. At the moment later, he came to me and said,"Thank you for coming" and (always) kissed me on the cheek, but this time he gave me a letter and asked me to read it whenever I had time. I wanted him to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I liked him so much but I was too shy, and I did not know why.
At home, I read his letter. It was his appreciation letter for me becoming his very best friend for all good and bad years. In the end of his letter, he wrote,"I remember staring at her cutie face wishing she was mine, but she never noticed me like that, and I knew it. I wanted to tell her that I love her but I was afraid. I did not have a heart to set her go. I wanted her to know that I did not want to be just friends, I love her and I wished she would love me too."
