Butiran air mata menetes di pipiku membuatku sadar bahwa tengah berada di persimpangan jalan di dalam hatiku. Ketika aku memandang kenangan buruk yang menghancurkan hati, satu tetes air mata jatuh. Alih2 memaksa kakiku untuk melangkah, aku membiarkan ingatanku membawa diri ini kedalam kilas balik masa lalu.
Aku pernah berpikir pada suatu waktu bahwa aku memiliki segalanya. Aku pikir telah menemukan seseorang yang bisa membuat diriku nyaman, membawa kedamai-an ke dalam jiwaku dengan mengetahui bahwa dia akan selalu mencintai aku untuk besok dan juga di hari-hari mendatang.
My world was turned upside down back and if only in blindness did I feel I had found the new love of my life but slowly, something chipped away at my heart and my self-confidence. I began to realize that he didn't love me. I could tell by reading the messages, the hesitation, and the lack of warmth in talking. Then distance became greater.
Aku mulai merasa kehilangan perasaan bahwa dia menghargai aku, bahwa dia menyayangi aku dan bahwa dia akan selalu mengurus aku dan mengatakan,”Vie, segalanya akan baik-baik saja”... Ada saat dimana aku mengatakan kepada diriku sendiri bahwa dia hanya lagi beada dalam fase bosan terhadap diriku dan mencoba berpikir optimis bahwa fase itu akan segera berlalu..tapi aku salah. Fase itu tidak pernah usai...tidak pernah berakhir….dan mulai timbul kemarahan dalam diriku…marah kepada diriku sendiri karena telah begitu bersemangat, terlalu yakin bahwa dia adalah salah satu dari sedikit hal yang paling penting dalam hidupku. Sering kali setiap beranjak tidur, aku berdoa dan berharap bahwa ini semua hanyalah mimpi buruk dan akan lain kenyataannya di pagi hari, tapi setiap kali terbangun…maka aku tahu itu bukan mimpi.
Love is never perfect..I wasn't naive...On the road of life there are detours, dead-ends, u turns and road closed signs where two people are supposed to rely on each other to still reach where we were heading. I came to a crossroads where I had to make a decision. Is this the type of relationship that I wanted? Is this how I wanted my final years to end? Did I want my last breath to shout? ...I hate you or I love u?
Cinta bukanlah cinta bila hanya satu orang yang mencintai. Cinta juga tidak bisa hanya menjadi satu arah. Jadi aku membuat keputusan yang sulit untuk mengakhiri cinta dengan hati yang hancur. Kegelapan dan kesendirian yang membungkus diriku dalam kemarahan, kesedihan dan kekecewaan membuat diriku berjanji untuk tidak pernah mudah percaya lagi terhadap suatu tawaran dan bujuk rayu mengatas-namakan cinta, dan yang paling penting tidak akan pernah membiarkan orang lain dapat menyakiti diriku. Aku bertekad untuk membangun kembali hidup… untuk diriku sendiri, bukan untuk orang lain.
Now, though always keep on being alerted for the first sign of a real love or just a player of every man who is trying to get close to me, I am still determine to let sunlight chase away the darkness around me, to let the sunlight still shine a spirit of hope longing for my true love presence, as I learn and realize some truth fact about love.....that it was much more than material comforts and gains.
# I learn that love is sharing
Believe me when i say that this is one of the most important ingredients of love - to open ones heart and share-pain, joy, success and failure. Love is being honest and knowing that the other person feels the same way too and will never be judgmental.
For me, love means communicating - talking, speaking, telling, hearing, sharing and understanding.After some time, married people restrict their communications to discuss on bills,children and pets.This is a sure indicator of things going downhill. Bring the spark back by starting a conversation.
# I learn that love also means spending time together
A few minutes spend together everyday keeps the boredom way. Heavy work schedules take up much and effort, so it is important to get things into perspective.
#I realize that love is faithfulness
To love means to give all my heart to one, and only one. Love is when I realize that he is the best thing that has happened to me and I want to cherish him, spend moments with him till death do us apart.
#I learn that love is also being friends
Love is being friends with each other. Enjoying simple pleasure in life like shopping, catching a movie or watching television at home, apart from that a host of other things that "friends" normally do!
#I learn that love is looking together in the same direction
This may sound clinched, but it is true........love is having the same goals and taking steps in that direction to make them come true.
